Remembering A Friend……

https://www.facebook.com/notes/pamela-dignen-payne/my-friend/2105873890870

Above is a link to a note I had written to one of my closest friends after we lost her to Cancer in 2011, on the Eve of what would of been her 45th Birthday I am reminded of the many lessons she taught us. As you can see by the pictures her smile could light up the darkest of rooms, I miss her terribly and think of her often. I know her spirit lives on in her children and all of us lucky enough to call her our friend.

So Cheers my friend! Happy Birthday! SUMMER 2010 020 SUMMER 2010 024 stuff 517 SUMMER 2010 019 024

Truth Be Told……

Wisdom is wasted on the old.
Forgiveness is the greatest gift….to yourself.
Wallpaper is evil.
Diet Soda is the biggest lie ever told.
Worry is a useless emotion.
Reverse Psychology is underused.
First impressions are usually almost always correct.
Hunches should be trusted.
Champagne should always be on hand.
People who think they are better than you have something to hide.
Judging someone is a sure bet for karma to visit your doorstep.
Laughter cures most ills.
A good cry can cleanse your soul.
Learn from regret.
Being right does not always bring satisfaction.

Sometimes I think I am the sanest person I know.
Happiness doesn’t just happen, you have to work at it.
Loneliness is the start of many failed relationships.
“No” doesn’t require justification.
It’s better to ask for directions than to wander aimlessly.
Insomnia sucks.
If you have a fireplace, use it.
Never count on someday.
Target is awesome.
Walmart is a stage for all that is wrong with America.
Singing loudly in your car is therapeutic.
Dancing in your kitchen is cool.
No one’s perfect.
Wine is good.

Just some random thoughts…..

Let The Pre-Gaming of The Holidays Commence

It begins this time every year…….

Packing away the spooky decor of another Halloween I am beside myself with eagerness to unfurl my paper Turkey and proudly display my Woodland  Tree.  I like to slowly transform my home from Fall to Christmas starting right after the last pack of Smarties hit my husbands mouth, which is usually the day after Halloween.
It’s no surprise to anyone that knows me that I live for this time of year. I love the sappy movies, the decorations, the weather….all of it just makes me giddy! As I write this I am enjoying the Hallmark Channel’s Countdown to Christmas  and let’s not forget the “Countdown to the real Countdown to the 25 days of Christmas” movies which will begin on November 19th on ABC Family. Unfortunately the time of year which is supposed to bring us together separates my husband and I to different rooms of the house, he can only stomach so much of the holiday drama that I can watch over and over again, I just can’t help myself.

I don’t attach a lot of sentiment in very many objects but I can’t help but smile when I take out my huge Pottery Barn Turkey plate that I bought in New York for $14.00 and lugged on the subway back to our hotel much to the displeasure of my daughters and best friend( hey this girl knows a good deal when she see’s it). The pine cone turkey that one of the kid’s made in grade school must take its rightful place on the jelly cupboard or it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving.

This time of year never lasts long enough for me, I am just not a Summer girl, it seems as though I live the entire rest of the year preparing for this season….At the first smell of a fire I feel like I come out of hibernation, mulled cider or wine for that matter even better,  beautiful leaves that  turn unbelievable colors, the sunsets and moon even take on different personalities…..

Even though the whole family being together at the same time is becoming quite the rarity with the kids starting to develop roots in different area codes, my motherly instinct needs to keep the status quo here on the home front.

So coffee in hand I will make the Cranberry Lime Vodka, line up my recipes for Thanksgiving and holiday treats, lose sleep over where the tree will go this year and relish in just breathing in the Autumn air.

In this time of turmoil for so many of our northern neighbors ravaged by the recent storm, and the vast population hoping for a brighter future I am hoping this season brings comfort and shelter and promise of better things to come…..

Lessons learned…….

I believe people  come in and out of our lives for a reason, some good …some bad….yet all to teach us something.  Teachable moments can come in all shapes and sizes, but are we listening? They can be big, small, loud or the faintest of whispers….

The tiniest of  “a-ha” moments can lead to life altering changes that you never saw coming. Weather it is a slow progression of events or a tidal wave that bowls you over, it is up to us to find the lesson and implement it’s purpose.

How we perceive people and their existence in our life are sometimes clouded by what we need from them. Our need might not necessarily be the driving force behind their existence in our circle but may be to give us a gentle nudge to look at things in a different light.

I often wonder this concept in reverse….whose life has been altered by something I said or did, positive or negative…have I ever influenced a change in someone? The older I get the more I realize that the paths we take have been steered by influences from others. What I now know is that we all need that subtle voice now and then to remind us that life is quite the classroom and the lessons  are there for the taking we just need to be willing to listen……

40-ISH Insights

When I look back on my childhood there isn’t a treasure trove of memories that flood my mind, only small tidbits that at the time seemed unworthy to take up prime real estate in the recollection part of my brain. For some reason today I was reminded of these little clips of my past that have somehow defined who I am. The small insignificant moments that somehow chartered our course, sometimes leading us to better things and sometimes altering our destiny. Just an innocent comment made in jest, a misconstrued action by someone you held in high regard can ultimately define how we live our lives. This made me wonder……. I am sure the little things that stand out in my past that effected me somehow don’t show up on the originator’s radar, but have I ever said or did something that has given pause to someone else’s life course? I hope not in a bad way, it did make me very aware that we must be more thoughtful of the content we put forth to one another.

On Another Note 

The Little Things……

I have come to realize that life is not really all the big milestone’s we celebrate but the journey that gets us there. Recently I was channel surfing and happened upon the Beauty And The Beast movie, wow did it put me right back to when my kids were small. All I could think about was three freshly bathed kids in onsies laying on the floor entranced by all the Disney wonder. I could actually smell there shampoo it was so vivid of a memory. I had that happen today as I was piddling in my yard, the smell of the Iris, the fresh cut grass, the pink rose that came from my Mom’s yard that just opened all had me reeling back to when I was five. My senses seemed on overload for some reason, as I opened my sunscreen all I think about was my Mom’s Coppertone she used that stuff in earnest. It’s funny how a simple smell can transport you back in time and have you remember such mundane fragments of our lives. But it’s funny I don’t really remember the bigger events, I couldn’t tell you what I did on my birthdays or what I got most Christmases, I do however remember my red galoshes, walking in the wet grass barefoot, my Dad teaching me to fix a broken shear pin on a boat motor, my Mom’s green old fashioned one piece bathing suit, the smell of the Stuffing she made every Thanksgiving, being afraid to swim in our pool after watching Jaws, being devastated every time we moved, and new school supplies every September. These quirky things are my story, the lining that ties it all together. I wonder what my kids will remember? Hopefully they carry with them their history and take the time to enjoy all the little things that eventually become the big things…..